An unpublished post from March

I've taken some time off from wedding planning & blogging because my life started to fall apart right before Christmas.

My FI and I had all our visa paperwork filled out, the engagement photo session was booked, I was in the process of selling my share of my business & I was happily planning my wedding for July 10, 2010. My FI was supposed to come stay for 2 weeks in Canada for the holidays to get to know my side of the family better. He applied for his passport & we waited. And waited. And waited. 1 week before he was supposed to fly out to see me & still no passport. It was weird to me, so I did some online snooping. With his SSN in hand, I went to the US Passport website to see the status of his application. To my shock & horror: It had arrived the first week of December.

I called him, upset & wanting answers, and then he rocked my world. He broke down. He cried. He was blubbering so hard I could barely understand him! He told me that he had lost his rental properties/income, he was being sued by a private student loan company (that he co-signed for his ex gf) & he could barely keep his head above water.

Apparently sh*t had hit the fan in SEPTEMBER, but he didn't know how to tell me. He didn't want to come for Christmas because he couldn't deal with all the people & all the wedding stuff. He ended our delightful conversation with these words: "Baby, I don't think now is a good time to file the paperwork." Then it was my turn to cry. And cry I did. What did this mean? Was it over? What the hell was going on???

So fast forward 3 months later. Our paperwork is still not filed. I have a venue, a photographer & almost all the details of our wedding planned out for July 10th, but sadly it's not going to happen. We've "postponed" the wedding, with no real date in mind.

Our relationship is now better, but it's taken 3+ months to get here. Since I initially heard the news I was filled with resentment towards him. I was so hurt that he hadn't told me what was going on and that he'd kept it from me. We're supposed to be in this together... how could he do this? He was also filled with self-hatred & anger. We were both volatile AND we were 3000 miles apart.

At the end of January, I made the decision to book the flight to visit him... without talking to him. Honestly it was so bad at that time, I had no idea if he'd even show up to pick me up from the airport! My dear WB buddy who lives 3 hours away even offered to pick me up in the event that he didn't show. Isn't that sweet? It was the most nerve-racking flight of my life! (One cool thing though, I got to fly in a private plane from the airport that all the country stars in Nashville fly from! Take that T-swizzle!) Luckily, he showed up & we started to repair the damage... It wasn't easy. It was the worst time of my life. What was supposed to be the happiest time of our relationship actually turned into the worst.

**************************

Since that terrible trip in January/February, we've worked so hard to get back to where we were. We made promises about how we'd fix this & how we'd both try harder to get back to where we were: happy & in love. We agreed that the bickering & anger had to end. And thankfully, it did with the help of a few books (more on that later). We agreed to support each other in good times and bad before we even said our vows.

I am so thankful for this experience. It has brought us closer together & we've learned so much about our relationship and each other. When you're in an LDR you'll never know how you'll get on in day-to-day life until you're physically together for an extended period of time. I feel like this was a good cushion into real life. We've developed a variety of coping skills & we've learned to communicate much better. I've also got him on a monthly budget and we've worked together to figure out a way to deal with the financial issues regarding his ex's massive student loan. Another lesson to be learned: Never co-sign a loan. Ever.

So now we've filed our paperwork and our wedding has been re-scheduled for 10/10/10. We've taken on an entirely new theme & mood. I've dropped the DIY projects and the wonderful flight themed wedding. It was just too much. I realized that I needed to put the focus back on our marriage and relationship instead of just our wedding.

I couldn't post this for a long time because it was just too hard. Posting it would have made it real. At that time, I couldn't deal with any encouragement or virtual hugs. I was comfortable with my head in the sand at the time... For those of you bee's who knew, thank you all for your support during that not so joyous time. Looking back, it was definitely needed & I will be forever grateful.

It's really happening...

Dress shopping has been quite a major stress for me. I have a small bust & thicker hips. I've got some baby makin' hips. Sigh.

My local bridal salon had a sale going on 30-70% off all dresses from old stock. Well... I went in all "I want a sweetheart neckline, a full skirt (but not poofy) & lace!" I ended up with this:

* SWOON*

I'm a small bust bride (we're talking B's here) and the embellishment & deep V actually is really flattering. Did I ever think I'd end up with a dress like this? Never. I thought that this style of dress wouldn't work with my hips, but it gives me a smokin' shape! It is sexy. I never wanted to look like a princess, I want to look hot. lol. Also straps? Eww.. I never thought I'd get a dress with staps & here I am. Sigh. You don't know until you try it!

My advice to other brides is to throw your ideas out the window & just be open minded. The first round of dress shopping I ended up not liking anything because I had an idea in my head of how I wanted to look... when in reality those looks didn't flatter me at all. This time I entered with an open mind & I found such a pretty dress. I love how simple & beautiful this gown is. I couldn't be happier! haha well I do have some work to do to get my body looking tight enough to show that much of my back & arms, but I'm motivated enough to get 'er done!

Here's the best part ladies... hold onto your hats. This floor sample model was discounted 60% off. AND they threw in the 12% taxes. SCORE!

Have you found your dress already? How many dresses did you try on before you found "the one"?

Baggage Claim!

I've been trying to figure out if I should do favors or not. I go back & forth. I made a decision a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to do favors because our per head cost for the luncheon is over $100. Yeah.. for LUNCH.

I told my mom this & she FLIPPED. Here's our conversation:

Mama RB: WHAT? Of course you need to give out favors. Just give out cookies like you originally said you would. Your guests CAN'T leave without a favor!

RB: Um so the dinner, lift ticket & yummy cake is not enough of a "Thank you"? When do most of these people get treated to such an amazing meal served in the clouds?? NEVER! That's enough.

Mama: *laughs* I understand what you're saying- but people will talk if there isn't a favor.

FINE. I lose.

Then I found something super duper awesome: Luggage favor boxes! Yessssss.... Another way to tie my "travel theme" into the reception. Woo. Hoo!

These are $3 a piece. All photos from www.beau-coup.com

These are $2 each. I would beef them up with a nicer ribbon & a map thank you sticker

These fit my color scheme the best. I could put a navy blue ribbon on it, a thank you sticker & call it a day! These are also around
$2 each.

Okay with that being said- is $2-$3 too expensive for a container? It helps our theme... but what would you do with these after wards? Are you for or against favors?

I'm a DIY Wuss

I had designed a boarding pass invitation (below is the original computer copy) which I loved! For the last week I've been designing the boarding pass holder & playing with the details & design of the boarding pass invitation.

Well... then my computer crashed. Not just a little bit. I mean died & everything was lost! I had sent my work to my email, but when my computer died- so did my love for my invitations.

Now I'm looking online for something that goes with our travel theme wedding! I'm still not 100% sure what I want, but my fiance will have the final say. People go bonkers when they see my boarding pass invites in person, but they are A LOT OF WORK! Sigh. So I searched the internet & a few options that are cute!

#1: I like this option. It's not my favorite, but it's fun. The little circular stamp says "Love takes flight" and would include our names & our wedding date.

#2: This option keeps with our travel theme (check out the map envelope liner!) and can be changed to match our colors. I would make it a little more formal, but it is an all inclusive invitation suite for a great price!


So I'm not sure which route I'll go, but I realized I'm a DIY wuss. DIY is satisfying & fun... but on my long list of things to do (with immigration, job, the big move, etc) invites are slipping on my priority list. I'm leaning towards taking the "easy" route out & paying someone to do it for me!

Are you DIY-ing your invites? Have you had any DIY remorse?

Attack of the Brides*

*some brides! Not all... a lot were very kind & honest, even if they disagreed with my approach to discussing divorce. I appreciate different views & opinions... :)

I started a thread on Weddingbee.com asking if other brides have discussed divorce with their significant others. Once it got rolling I felt a little under attack & the need to justify my approach. No longer was the question being answered: instead it became a huge mess about how my decisions were basically the wrong way to go into a marriage.

I read some of the comments & I started to cry. A lot of the posters were so kind in their responses (even when they COMPLETELY disagreed with my choice!) and others basically made me feel like I was going to become a failure & end up a divorce statistic.

One poster summed it up perfectly when she said "If you think about it- many people prepare for the worst while hoping for the best- take life insurance for example. None of us think our fiance's or husband will die suddenly- but people do die suddenly and young. And life insurance would let you live more comfortably afterward. But no one looks down on people for buying life insurance! As women, we need to take charge of ourselves and our own destiny."

Amen, sister friend :)

Am I going into my marriage HOPING we get divorced? Never. Look at Jon & Kate. Look at divorced couples you know. Did they get married with the hopes of one day breaking up? No. We all want to live happily ever after & I'm no different.

I really wish every couple a lifetime of happiness :)

Cake flags, you make my heart sing!

You make everything...
Groovy.
I said cake flags...
I think I love you!

*end song*

Phewf. Now that I got that out of my system,
how awesomely cute is this?

And finally the pièce de résistance:

*drool* it's the best of both worlds! I'm going to be doing something similar to this cupcake/cake tower a la Martha :)

Are you going to be having a traditional wedding cake or cupcakes... or both? Don't you just love how cute these little flags are?

E-Love!

Email love (sort of)! That's how our story starts....

(Courtesy of Revival Arts Studio)

Mr. RB & I met online! *Gasp* Neither of us were looking for love either... I mean, the stars had to align for us to meet. We were both dating other people (he was with her for 6 years, I was with my guy for 2 years), we were playing a 30 day free trial game of Catan online that randomly matched us up... had either of us could have slept that night- we wouldn't have been paired up! We talked all night & I added him to my IM chat. That was the last time I talked to him until I moved to Vancouver & was newly single.

During that time he kept randomly emailing me things like "Hey. U good?" or "Whats up?" That was all... One or 2 word emails! It annoyed the crap out of me! Like seriously you hillbilly, you can't even write a proper sentence? So I ignored him.

I had just moved to the other side of the country, I didn't know a soul & I was bored one night- so I emailed him back. He called me that night, we talked for 5 hours straight... and the rest is history! We met in person in Seattle a few months later. The sparks flew & we knew it was going to turn into something serious.

So, he's ashamed of how we met & he won't tell anyone... I'm not at all. I'm an open book for the most part lol. I'm 23 & everyone my age meets people online. You're weird if you don't! He's 35 & his friends feel like if you have to meet someone online you're a pathetic loser. I don't see anything wrong with meeting a someone online... I'd prefer to meet someone online than at a bar. I can atleast e-stalk them before I meet them! lol Ooooh yes. I google everyone & everything!

So there you have it! How did you & your SO meet??